


You Know What Sounds Like Choi?

by jihyuncompass



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Dates, F/M, Mentions of Panic Attacks, pretty fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihyuncompass/pseuds/jihyuncompass
Summary: Two dates with Saeran, each with a different result.
Relationships: Choi Saeran/Main Character, Choi Saeran/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	You Know What Sounds Like Choi?

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. You thought to yourself. You held onto Saeran’s hand as you looked around the busy farmer’s market. Live music could be heard from the distance but was mostly drowned out by people talking around you. 

Saeran was silent next to you. Without even looking, Saeran’s anxiety was palpable. Feeling his uneasiness you pulled his arm. 

“Maybe we should just go get some ice cream.” You suggested, tugging his arm some more. However Saeran stayed still, looking into the market. “Saeran?” He gave you a look, you could still see some anxiety in his eyes. 

“I want to do this.” Saeran said. After taking a moment to steel himself you stepped into the market. You both tried to move like water through the crowd, trying to keep as much distance as you could manage in the crowded rows of booths. 

The first booth was covered in small containers of berries. Primarily strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. Thoughtfully Saeran looked at the small paper baskets filled with berries, searching for the best ones. 

Saeran had been the one to suggest this. He’d spotted a flyer on one of his walks for the local farmers market and after returning home asked you what a farmers market was. After explaining the concept to him he showed an almost immediate interest, then he asked if you would go with him. And of course, looking at his face filled with an almost childlike wonder and excitement, how could you say no? Then seeing him this morning, the way he actually seemed excited to go out somewhere, it made you happier than you could ever express. Most of the time your dates took place in the comfort of your own home where Saeran felt safest. Once in a while you both would venture out to see a movie or go shopping, but those dates were rare. Doing even the simplest of errands like grocery shopping still usually was too much for him most of the time, but this felt like some kind of progress. 

Saeran focused on the strawberries on the table. “I’ve been wanting to try and bake a strawberry tart.” Saeran started. “But I wanted to try it with fresh strawberries.” You nodded. 

“Aren’t there strawberry plants in the garden?” 

“Yes, but they aren’t doing so well right now.” A frown tugged at his lips. His garden was his pride and joy, and a plant struggling to thrive you imagined must have felt like a personal failure for him. 

A careful pat on his shoulder you reassured him. “They might just be late bloomers.” Saeran nodded, even if he didn’t believe you fully he still found comfort in your words. 

He chose the strawberries he deemed worthy, and felt ready to move onto the next couple tables. You passed a few vegetable booths, a couple tables asking people to sign a variety of petitions, and a candle maker. 

In the center of the farmer’s market Saeran noticed a table filled with flower arrangements. Like a moth drawn to a flame he led you right to the flowers, his fingers lightly grazing over the flower petals. 

“These are all so beautiful.” You said, staring at one particular arrangement. 

“They are.” He said, reaching for one particular arrangement. While you looked over each arrangement spending a moment to admire the thought put into each one. In the duration of your relationship with Saeran you had learned much more about flowers and their meanings than you ever had before. With each flower he grew and each bouquet he gave you he never hesitated to explain the meaning and symbolism in every flower. If flower language could be considered a type of love language it would be Saeran’s preferred type of affection. 

Saeran handed you one of the arrangements, a smaller bundle of summer flowers. A smile pulled at your lips. The tips of Saeran’s ears bright red, the subtlest of smiles on his face. Holding the bouquet close to your chest you kissed his cheek. 

Walking more you continued glancing over at Saeran to check up on him. He wasn’t showing any of his usual anxious tells but still you kept your eyes on him. Just in case. 

Finally you reached the small stage where the live music was being played. Here also seemed to be the epicenter of the most amount of noise. People sat in a semi circle to listen to the performers play folk music on the small stage. 

You both stopped to listen to the music for a few minutes. Behind where you were standing you could feel people brushing past you on their way through the market. Saeran’s grip on your hand tightened. His palms had become clammy, and a quick glance over at him showed his eyes were glazed over. 

“Sae?” You asked, touching his arm with the hand not holding his. “Sae are you okay?” He didn’t answer you, almost as if he couldn’t hear you. His eyes darted to look at his surroundings, but never focusing on anything. You squeezed his hand, his head turned fast to lock eyes with you. His eyes wide and full of fear. “Home?” You asked him, he nodded frantically. Keeping a tight grip on his hand you led him through the crowd. Taking the bag of strawberries and flowers in your other hand. Every extra second spent there only made his anxiety worse. 

You helped him into the passenger seat of your car, going around the other side so you could sit in the driver’s seat. Once the doors were closed you turned your focus back onto your boyfriend, shaking and dissociated in the seat next to you. 

“Saeran.” You said in a gentle tone. Resting one of your hands on his. Hoping that your touch could help ground him. “Can you hear me?” He nodded, a small barely noticeable little head nod. “We’re in a safe place Saeran. Can you breathe with me?” 

Together you worked on breathing exercises, trying to help him get grounded again. After some exercises and some time Saeran seemed to come back to you. His eyes are no longer distant, but now just weary. 

You drove home quickly, even though Saeran seemed to be calmer now you knew that he probably wouldn’t calm down fully until he could get home. The drive was quiet, with only the sound of your breathing and the grumbling of the car being heard. 

It was a nice try, but this date might not have been a great idea. 

====

Weeks later, you kept your eyes focused on the winding mountain road. By this point you had been on this road for a while, getting closer to your final destination. You weren’t speaking much, your lips pressed together in a firm line while your hands moved the wheel to carefully go around another curve in the mountainside. 

Next to you Saeran was quietly sitting in the passenger seat fidgeting with his sweater sleeve. When you brought up the idea of going on a surprise date yesterday Saeran hadn’t been too sure. Today you had assured him that he would like where you were taking him and if he didn’t want to stay you would both go home. 

You silently prayed that Saeran would be okay, hopefully Saeran was feeling okay enough to do this. As much as you wanted him to see this place, you absolutely didn’t want him to shut down or start panicking. But today he woke up in a fairly good mood, if only a little anxious about your surprise. 

“We’re almost there.” You said. “Just a couple more miles.” From your peripheral you saw Saeran nod. 

Saeran grabbed your hand the second you were out of the car. When the two of you would go out he liked having your touch to ground him and remind him that he’s safe with you. Pulling his hand you lead him out of the parking lot. 

“The Japanese Gardens?” Saeran asked, reading the sign. He looked a tad confused, he glanced between the sign and you. 

“I used to come here a lot before we met. It’s one of my favorite places in the world.” You gave his hand a squeeze, he didn’t seem sure at first but your reassurance helped him build his courage. 

As you both approached the entrance you continued talking to Saeran to keep him focused on you and not the line of people. “They have this really neat cultural center where they do tea ceremonies. We could look around there, or we could just walk around the gardens?” Saeran looked past the gate into the entrance of the gardens, green trees in his sight. 

“Perhaps we should just go to the gardens?” Saeran asked. You nodded. 

“Alright!” You grinned at him. “We don’t even need a map, I know this place like the back of my hand.” Saeran showed a slight smile. He didn’t smile often like this, but when he did it still made your heart flutter. 

You paid for your tickets and went in. Walking down the main path that led to a series of branching paths throughout the gardens. All the inevitably lead back together to snake around the property. 

“I’ll let you pick.” You said facing Saeran. “Where do you want to go first?” 

Together you took a path that led you to the “Natural Garden”. Trees and bushes grew wild and disorganized, small tree roots and flower petals on the stone path you walked down. Saeran took in the sights, completely silent, and despite the people walking in front and behind you, there was nothing but the sound of footsteps on stone.

You passed a small stream, watching water gently crash against stones sticking just above the surface, flowing around to soften the edges of the stones. There only the sound of rushing water filled your ears. The garden felt as if you were walking in the wilderness, far removed from the city that in reality was not far from you. 

Slowly your surroundings transitioned to another one of the gardens. This one marked by a bridge over a river. Staying on the edge you stopped at the center to look out on the river. You both stood for a few moments, taking in the sight of the flowing water and the trees lining the bank. The sound of the water was so peaceful you could barely notice the person who brushed your shoulder walking past. 

Crossing the bridge you were led to a much different place than before. A large field of sand, carefully and expertly raked in neat lines. Creating radiating circles around large boulders emerging through the sand. You stood on the wooden deck overlooking the “Sand and Stone” garden. Around you people sat on the edge of the garden, quietly mediating. 

“I wonder how long it took to do that.” You whispered. Saeran was staring at it, barely paying attention to your words. There must have been so much love, so much patience that went into it. The work was too beautiful to have been done by a machine, it showed the natural care and beauty that could only be from the hand of a real person. 

The two of you stared in complete reverence, eyes slowly tracing the marks in the sand. The longer you stood, your very sense of time started to slip away from you. The simple garden providing you a deep sense of peace. 

After a long while you started to step away from the sand garden and head down a long path. You stared up at the large trees above you, the leaves a variety of greens and oranges. As you walked you began to hear the familiar sound of the flowing river from before. A little further down the path opened up to a long string of bridges, these ones straight with thin rails standing just barely above the river. Some splash marks visible on the edge of the wood under your feet.

Here you saw many people stopped along the edges, looking down into the water. The river expanding into a much larger pond below you. You gave Saeran’s hand a quick squeeze of reassurance, worried that he would be anxious or concerned, but looking at him he looked the same way he did when he was in his own garden. Peaceful, with not a hint of anxiety behind his eyes. A thing you never saw outside of your home. 

Once you were walking on the bridge you were able to see what people saw in the pond below you. Dozens of large multi colored fish swimming aimlessly around each other throughout the still water. Dozens and dozens of koi. 

You stopped in perfect view of both the koi and the small waterfall. You watched as the water crashed into the rocks below. Filling your ears with the sound. Saeran stared down into the water, his eyes enraptured by the bustling koi. 

This was truly the thing you had wanted him to see here. Giving Saeran some time to watch you leaned close to speak quietly to him. 

“You know there’s a really famous myth about these fish.” You started. Saeran’s eyes broke away to look at you. “Would you like to hear it?” 

“Yes.” Saeran said. With a smile you looked back to the koi to begin your story. 

“Once there was this school of koi fish, going on a difficult journey upstream against the current. They swam with all their might but found themselves stuck at a waterfall. Many of the koi didn’t think they could make it over so they turned around and went back where they came from. But some stayed behind, determined to get to the top.” Your eyes turned up to the waterfall in front of you. “While the koi desperately tried to get up the waterfall, a group of demons decided to tease the koi by making the waterfall even bigger. Making it even harder to get up than before. However, despite this the koi still kept trying to get up. Utterly determined to get up there. But they couldn’t, and for one hundred years the koi kept jumping to no success.” Taking a quick peek at Saeran you could see how intensely he was listening to you, wanting to know the rest. “And then, after so long one koi made it to the top. Being able to swim in the river above the falls. Despite swimming against the current, despite the demons, despite trying for one hundred years it never gave up. And seeing this incredible feat, the Gods transformed the fish into a dragon, to roam the sky like it did the river.” You stopped to look at Saeran, his eyes now back down at the koi fish down below him. “Many people consider koi to be a symbol of strength, and perseverance. The ability to succeed and thrive despite all the barriers.” 

Looking into the water, your eyes locked with one koi, who’s scales were a beautiful mix of red and black. Swimming slowly and aimlessly, you put a quick smile onto your face. “You know what Saeran?” His eyes locked with yours. 

“What?” 

“Koi and Choi sound awfully similar. Don’t you think?” Saeran froze, his mouth open just the smallest bit. While the meaning of your words sunk in for him. He stayed still, and you could see his eyes starting to become glassy. You stepped closer to him to whisper. “Sae?” 

Within a second his arms enveloped you. His face pressed tightly into your shoulder, you held him tight feeling the muscles in his back shaking. You weren’t even paying attention to if people were watching you, all you could focus on was Saeran in your arms. Did you overdo it? Did you overwhelm him and make him panic? Worry wrapped your head and heart like a chain. You waited, seeing what Saeran would do. 

When he pulled away the tears were still in his eyes, though some had begun to slip down his cheeks. You stayed close, searching in his eyes for how he was feeling. 

“Was that too much?” You asked him. Keeping your voice soft and gentle. Saeran shook his head. 

“No. That.” He took a deep breath. “That was a very kind story to tell.” You nodded, reaching your hand slowly up to brush a few strands of hair away from his eyes. 

“You’re so strong Saeran, more than you know. You’ve swam upstream and you’ve gotten to the top of the waterfall.” Taking his hand in yours you held it right. “I admire you so much Saeran. I love you.” One of his rare smiles emerged on his features. Your heart sang at the sight. 

“I love you too.” Saeran whispered, just barely loud enough to hear past the waterfall. Together you stood for a while longer, taking in everything you could. While you watched, the peaceful expression came back to Saeran. Although, with a slightly different hint to it, one that showed genuine happiness. 

You walked down the final path, a wooden archway surrounded by Japanese maples. As you passed through the entrance you originally came in grew closer. However you couldn’t help to find yourself drawn to the small building of souvenirs. 

Saaran watched you intently, not one for buying souvenirs. However there was something specific you wanted. The sight of said item bringing a small yelp of joy. 

So together, you walked down the paved path to the car. Holding hands with Saeran. A small Koi fish charm held between your interlocked fingers.


End file.
